Posted by: cg00n | December 17, 2009

Melancholy

It always turns up again eventually.  P says she started noticing  my mood slipping about 10 days ago when I was having trouble levering myself out of bed, moving rather slowly around the house and not showing much interest in anything.  A few days ago it got bad enough that I started popping some extra clonazepam.  Yesterday it was 1.75 pills (@ 0.5mg each pill) which is, according to Dr. C, “fairy dust”.  I’m much more relaxed about taking this stuff after many reassurances from Dr. C and various friends that I’m in no danger of becoming a junkie any time soon.  So rather than trying to tough it out I might just as well feel better and be more functional.  It’s easier on everyone, including those around me.

There seems to have been no obvious trigger for this episode.  For all I know it could be the weather, something I ate, an event in my life too trivial to recall, the anticipation of some future event… I just don’t know.  Three months ago I started keeping a mood calendar but it only records (in very coarse terms) how I’ve been feeling, not the circumstances du jour.  So much data would have to be recorded in order to start looking for 2-3 month trends that I don’t know if I’m up to the task.  One cause I can more or less rule out in this case is anything to do with the melanoma.  My much abused leg (anyone want to see another picture?) continues to recover very well with no signs of recurrence at present.  While I am experiencing negative thoughts they seem to be very random:  global warming, a little swelling in my mouth that is slightly sore, the worry that my friends might get bored with my complaints… stuff like that.

One other event of minor significance occurred recently.  We got a call from Dr. R (the radiation oncologist).   At our meeting a couple of months back she said she thought some radiation treatment might be helpful.  Now, having taken a more detailed look at the scan results and having talked to Dr. G about where the active margins were that could not be dealt with surgically, she is thinking that the radiation is likely to do more harm than good.  If and when the melanoma shows up again it will be worth taking another look but for now we’re not going to nuke my leg.  I can be happy with that.

And finally, in the general news roundup:

All good stuff.

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2010 and look forward to hearing from each and every one of you over the coming months.

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Responses

  1. So glad that you don’t have to have radiation! It would be so nice for you to have a long break from medical tests & procedures.

    Wishing you & P & A a very merry Christmas. We need to get down to see y’all before too much of 2010 goes by.

  2. Hey! Merry Christmas.

    Here’s a wee blast from the past, hopefully to cheer you up a bit….

    http://rsidd.online.fr/profit/index.html

  3. 2010 is here and I hope that your spirits have picked up now that the holiday season is nearly done. For many it is depressing rather than uplifting. Glad to hear all is well with the leg … however, mangled it still works!


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